I am a simple man, contrary to some people’s beliefs. I, like most, enjoy a guilty pleasure or two. For instance, I enjoy a good Adderall and a coffee buzz first thing in the morning. It helps to clear the haze left behind from too much red wine from the night before. I am fond of perfume that smells like the beach though I can't remember the last time I wanted to visit one. I prefer fall to summer and like my cereal dry, no milk suits me just fine.
With that in mind, here is what it has taken me 33 years to finally understand... You cannot control anything in life except how you react in a situation and what you do next.
“Want to make God laugh? Tell him your plan.” - Woody Allan.
I love that quote because it's the truth. You want to know what freedom feels like? Then, let go of the wheel you are gripping so tightly. I am not saying sleep in till noon, crack a bottle and get lost in daytime television because life has no meaning. What I am saying is know where you want to go in life, but don't be locked on how you are going to get there.
Opportunity is sneaky and usually
shows up in the very moment we are fighting so hard to control. This could be a
painful break, a loss of job or a moment you would rather soon forget. Again,
the only thing in life you have control over is your emotions and how you will
react in any situation.
Look around you; look at the people in your life who attempt to control everything around them. They are stressed, constantly out of control in attempt to get control and generally on edge. Micro managers are the worst.
This brings me to the hardest part of letting go control.
You have to allow people to make their own decisions and in turn, their own mistakes. How else are they ever going to learn?
When you see your friend go back and forth with an on-again-off-again relationship you can give them your own two cents but do not expect it to change anything. Until they wake up to their own truth your words are just background noise.
It is not your job to judge or ridicule them when its 2 a.m. and they call you drunk, alone and heart broken. Your job is to listen and be there so they do not feel more alone than they already do... that's it.
I am not a religious man but I certainly believe in energy and expectations created through our beliefs. Meaning, you will get what you focus on good or bad. If you are afraid of being alone and try to control your partner so they won't cheat on you or leave you, chances are your energy will drive them to cheat or in the very least leave. Thus forcing you to live the very fear you so did not want to live. Every race car driver has thought about this one important lesson. When there is an accident on the road ahead, you only have a second to decide where to go to avoid the accident. Never look at the wall. If you do, that is where you will end up.