Monday, 9 March 2015

The Return of the Alpha Male


I’m an Alpha male, and I’m not going to apologize for it. I like to smack my girls’ ass in public. I like to dominate and be on top. I like my brown liquor straight, and have hair on my chest.
I’m not going to be bashful about this, nor should I be.
Don’t tell me this is sexist, or that I’m a misogynistic pig, because if you do, then it will force me to ask a question that feminists hate.
Why is it okay for a female to be proud of being strong, but a male must hide and pretend that he is not?
You’re not going to bully me, and if you try, might I point out your own hypocrisy. If you don’t like these words, here is what you should do: stop reading.
I want to win, and just because you don’t want to keep score doesn’t mean that I won’t. I’m a dirty fighter and I’ll do what I need to do to make sure that I come out on top. I’ll cheat and steal because I want it so bad. Don’t give me this ‘moral victor’ shit, and don’t tell me that you want to win the right way, because history only remembers the winners, and if you’re not cheating, then you’re not trying to win.
Back to the lesson at hand about a man being a man.
It’s time for men to stop chasing trends and just be who they are.
Don’t spend more time in the bathroom than your girl.
Don’t get caught up in gossip. In fact, keep your fucking mouth shut, because gossip is for little bitches, both male and female, and last time I checked, no one wants to be a little bitch.
Don’t be afraid of what others might think.
Don’t be a blubbering little fool. Stick your chest out in public and open the door for your girl, and if that ass looks right then give it a squeeze, look her in the eye, and let her know she’s got you thinking nasty thoughts. In my experience, women actually tend to enjoy a man that’s direct and not afraid to tell her what he wants, especially if what he wants is her.
That’s why Carrie chose Big. Let’s be honest, Aidan was boring as fuck. If you’re single and looking for an Aidan, might I suggest anyone else. For the rest of you, the line-up starts right here.
I’m only going to say this one last time. Men, if you want her, you’d better tell her because I’m not going to hesitate, and trust me, I will make a move. So, while you’re talking to the mirror, I’ll be tasting those lips, and believe me when I say they’re as soft and as sweet as advertised.

This blog has been brought to you by your local Alpha male. Ladies, might I suggest trying one out soon, while supplies last.