Wednesday, 7 January 2015

If I had a son


“Be something you love and understand” – the words from a song that now exhausts my mind. When Skynyrd sings, I listen. That’s especially true today.
You can’t miss something that you never had, this much is true. But sometimes…sometimes I can’t help but wonder what it would have been like to have had a dad.
This isn’t a pity party, no reason for a tissue. It’s a simple question any man in my shoes would, and should, ponder.
I say I don’t want kids because I’m afraid of loving something that much.
If I had a son, I would teach him to grow a real thick skin. The world can be cold and cruel and skin needs to be as thick as leather to do something great.
If I had a son, I would teach him to respect, but never be a fool.
If I had a son, I would teach him to crush all he wants, but have only one great love.
If I had a son, I would teach him to cheer for the Habs, not because they are the best team on the ice, but because sometimes it’s good to keep with tradition.
If I had a son, I would teach him to be cautious of shiny people full of the glitz and the glam. That type of person is empty, and too consumed with insecurity to ever be true.
If I had a son, I would tell him to chase passion and purpose, over safety and comfort.
If I had a son, I would teach him that it is better to be punished for honesty, than rewarded for a lie.
If I had a son, I would teach him to make a connection with people, and not be a recluse like his old man.
If I had a son, I would let him skin his knees and cry. I wouldn’t come running, though I would want too. Instead, I would watch him pick himself up, and learn this most important life lesson: no one is coming to save you, you must save yourself.
If I had a son, I would teach him to own every room he enters, but only after he has held the door to let her in.
If I had a son, I would show him how to shave and laugh when he nicks his lip.
If I had a son, I would teach him to look them right back in the eye.
If I had a son, I would tell him it’s okay.
If I had a son, I would teach him to wake up early, and go to bed late
If I had a son, I would tell him that wine never makes it better, but do it anyways.
If I had a son, I would tell him that it’s okay to let loose, and do things you might regret.
If I had a son, I would let him know that I loved his mother unconditionally, forever and ever, because she gave me the greatest gift I could ever ask for, and that gift is you, son.


If I had a son, I would teach him all the things I wish a man would’ve taught me. That way, he wouldn’t be so distant, he would trust, and hopefully not be so damn cold. That way, one day, he would let someone in.


That way, one day, he wouldn’t be me.