Wednesday, 14 January 2015

Fairy Tales and Other Pretty Lies.


“Ah, hear this! The victim of the Sleeping Death can be revived only by Love’s First Kiss.” – Queen/Witch fromSnow White (1937)
I fear that ‘Happily Ever After’ may just be words used to conclude fables that begin with ‘Once Upon a Time’.
It’s not that I don’t believe in love, or in pumpkins that turn into carriages that turn back into pumpkins at midnight – which, while I’m on that topic, is a really fucking early curfew – I know I do my best love-making decisions shortly after last call.
I need to know what happens after the last words on the final page read ‘The End’.
Seriously, Snow White is what, 22 at best, and Cinderella, the same?
What happens when, after the second kid, Snow White decides she wants a part-time job to get out of the house, and her cute new co-worker starts giving her the attention that Prince Charming hasn’t in years?
What about the one prone to losing her slipper? She fooled him once with a first impression created by some ‘Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo’. Is that enough to hold his attention forever?
You can’t tell me that while going through the entire kingdom with some crystal high heel, the Prince didn’t “accidentally” hold on to a few numbers. (Side note: the Prince’s full name in Cinderella is just Prince – no last name. It’s like they weren’t even trying….)
Fairy tales are enchanting, pretty little lies, presenting a false truth that life can only be complete by some chance romantic encounter.
Where is the nighttime story being read that teaches the youth that someone else does not complete you?
Don’t trust any serial monogamist. They’re scared, empty people who are more interested in finding the next one than finding the right one, ruled by fear and dominated by insecurity. They are sociopathic, nothing but damaged goods with some real deep mommy or daddy shit going on.
It’s good to be alone. It’s good to spend time not needing anyone else. Take time to fall in love with yourself. I’m aware how lame it sounds, but until you learn to love yourself, it’s impossible to love anyone else, as you can’t share what you don’t have.
Please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. This isn’t some ‘lock yourself up and close yourself off’ speech, no, no, no. 
By all means, kiss, hug, connect, do some naughty shit with other people, that’s cool with me.
Might I suggest though, that while you play, you find time to study, and by study, I mean learn how the fuck to say NO and become selfish with your time.
Don’t make a New Year’s resolution to hit the gym. Make a resolution to learn how to say no to the people that eat up your time, taking away from your chance to get there in the first place.
Don’t say sorry after you say no, because you’re not. What you are is looking for a reason to not feel guilty.
Guilt should never be felt when you’re doing what is best for you. I don’t feel guilty when I breathe, and I don’t feel guilty when I say no, because both of those things are part of being human.
When someone calls you selfish, or gets mad at you for not doing what they’ve asked, realize that what they are trying to do is cause you to feel enough guilt that they get what they want. Pretty damn selfish of them, isn’t it!
I’m not a religious man. No holy water has ever touched this pretty little head. I do believe though, that if there is a Hell, then I’m sure it is this: being shown what you could have done with your time, but didn’t. Show me someone that is extremely successful, and I will show you someone that was extremely selfish with their time, and never felt guilty about it.